Monday, December 27, 2010

This one is for Elizabeth Edwards. In truth, I know very little about her. My knowledge of her has been quilted by the numerous media excerpts, published in recent years. Nevertheless, her death affected me beyond what I would fathom. As a survivor, I feel stronger with every day that passes. I know that the cancer can and may come back, but I feel like a winner! I win one day at the time, and one night at the time. One more moment unaffected by the pains involved with having cancer and joyous for every moment I’ve been living passed that. Then, something reminds me of the frailty of our existence. On Monday, December 6, 2010, I read Elizabeth Edward’s note on Facebook. Mrs. Edwards decided to stop her futile cancer treatment. On Tuesday, December 7, 2010, she died. I felt my throat tightening. I felt pressure in my chest. I wanted to scream that this cannot be! One day she was here, and the very next day, she was gone! It was clear to me that it was the cancer sending its macabre threats. It perpetuates its presence through the lives and deaths of others. Through others’ pain and joy, it reminds me to live each day expecting the cancer to return and hope that it won’t. It’s not easy. In fact, appreciating each day for what it brings is difficult, but I try. Elizabeth Edwards’ farewell note was inspiring as it reflected her inner peace and readiness to move on; to leave our world and to do so with grace. I don’t know that I’ll be able to come to terms with dying early. But like Mrs. Edwards, I vow to find the strength to make each of my days on earth “meaningful and precious.”